Friday, November 21, 2014

Re-marriage PEW Data

  November 14

Forty percent of newlyweds are previously married or widowed people tying the knot for the second time, a phenomenon driven by an aging society where traditional patterns of marriage have shifted dramatically in recent decades, a new report said.
The report on remarriage, released Friday by the Pew Research Center, also confirmed the long-standing perception that remarried men are far more likely than remarried women to have a spouse at least 10 years younger.
And it captured a sharp disparity in the way men and women view marriage: Most men are eager to marry a second time, while most women say one time was enough.
The findings offer a striking glimpse at the flip side of marriage’s long decline in the United States. With cohabitation on the rise, divorce more common and many people delaying marriage, only 70 percent of adults now say they married at some point in their lives, compared with 85 percent in 1960.
But because of the huge demographic bulge of baby boomers, there are now more people who are divorced or widowed and are once again looking for love inside the bonds of marriage.
“We’re not seeing an outbreak in remarriage fever. We’re seeing an increase in the number of people who are in a position to remarry,” said Andrew J. Cherlin, a sociology professor at Johns Hopkins University. “What’s happened is that the share of the population that’s divorced has risen greatly. In particular, the baby-boomer generation — which experienced more divorce than any generation in history — is now in their 50s and 60s. They’ve lived long enough, and there are now more of them to get remarried.”
Galina Rhoades, a psychology professor at the University of Denver, said the report shows that the aftershocks of the 1960s sexual revolution continue to reverberate through American culture.
“A lot of these trends are related to big shifts we had in the 1960s,” Rhoades said. “That really changed how relationships function.”
The report is based on analysis of the Census Bureau’s newly released 2013 American Community Survey, along with data from the 1960 and 1980 censuses of people who were divorced or widowed at least once. The Pew analysis did not include same-sex-marriage data, which became available for the first time last year and is limited in scope.
Pew’s report said 42 million adults remarried in 2013, up from 22 million in 1980. Among married couples today, 23 percent had been married before compared with 13 percent in 1960. It found that 8 percent of newlyweds in 2013 had been married three times or more. It also found that 20 percent of all marriages in 2013 involved spouses who had both been previously married.
Gretchen Livingston, senior researcher at Pew, said she was surprised that four of 10 new marriages involved people who had been married before.
“I was struck by that number,” she said.
The report also highlighted ways in which views of marriage have diverged along gender and generational lines.
While older Americans are more likely to remarry today than in 1960, younger Americans — ages 25 to 34 — are less likely to remarry, with 43 percent remarrying in 2013 compared with 75 percent in 1960. Among older adults, 50 percent remarried in 2013, up from 34 percent in 1960.
Among previously married or widowed men, 65 percent would remarry or at least are unsure. But only 43 percent of women would walk down the aisle again or consider doing so. Among men, only 30 percent do not want to remarry; among women, the figure is nearly twice that, at 54 percent.
“Older divorced men are used to being cared for by their wives on a daily basis. Older divorced women may not want to do that anymore,” Cherlin said.

The report notes that those attitudes are reflected in the pattern of remarried couples — 64 percent of men have remarried, compared with 52 percent of previously married or widowed women.
“It may be that women feel they have more to lose, essentially, by getting [re]married,” Rhoades said. “I think we are still, unfortunately, in a society where women have less power than men do. And not being married to someone is a more powerful position to be in.

“Maybe they don’t want to feel stuck again. Maybe it feels like there’s some more freedom in that.”
The report noted, however, that this gender gap has shrunk, as men have become more reluctant to remarry than in the past, while women are more likely to do so.

And the report suggested that when men remarry, they are more likely to marry someone younger. About 16 percent of newly remarried couples include a husband who is at least 10 years older than his wife, compared with 4 percent in first marriages.

Cherlin said the data may reflect the law of supply and demand as much as cultural views.
“Men have a more favorable marriage market because they’re allowed and encouraged to marry younger women. Divorced women are less likely to marry a younger man,” Cherlin said.

Friday, May 2, 2014


With 42%+ of all marriages in the US being inter-marital it's important to use our IPI Intermarriage Inventory when counseling couples with this situation.

The Program deals with how children will be raised, issues facing families of the couples, etc.

The IMI is only available online at

Consider it.

Jim Dougas
800 999 0680

Monday, January 27, 2014

Stay married longer by cohabiting first

I thought you would find this interesting.  If you can't open this, copy and paste it in your browser.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Colorado - Marijuana and Premarriage Counseling

This State is movin' fast...I wonder if smokin' will be allowed during the pre-marriage counseling sessions if their new proposal should become reality.

Seems the national news are smirking all over the shucks folks...we don't need counseling....maybe you don't but the other fella does cause he makes up part of the 50% divorce rate.

I see a golden calf on the horizon!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

As marriages decline and cohabitation increases, the issues remain the same.

If you want to fine tune your relationship, we suggest using our questionnaire.

select the program for you and begin.

We have provided these programs for 32 years and hope you will find them helpful.


Friday, January 21, 2011

IPI Profile for Couples

We now have made available a new website, which allows you to direct a Couple to the site to use the Program you have selected.

They purchase the Inventory and we do all the administration. Once completed, we email the Report to whomever we are directed.

Take a moment to look at the site.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Cohabitation Data

Below are excerpts from various sources on the matter of cohabitation. We would appreciate your thoughts on this issue.

Jim Douglas

The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development reports:
"Cohabitation, once rare, is now the norm: The researchers found that more than half (54 percent) of all first marriages between 1990 and 1994 began with unmarried cohabitation. They estimate that a majority of young men and women of marriageable age today will spend some time in a cohabiting relationship. ... Cohabiting relationships are less stable than marriages and that instabililty is increasing, the study found."

Readily Available Cohabitation Facts
Living together is considered to be more stressful than being married.
Just over 50% of first cohabiting couples ever get married.
In the United States and in the UK, couples who live together are at a greater risk for divorce than non-cohabiting couples.

Couples who lived together before marriage tend to divorce early in their marriage. If their marriage last seven years, then their risk for divorce is the same as couples who didn't cohabit before marriage.

Cohabitation Facts Rarely Mentioned
In France and Germany cohabiting couples have a slightly lower risk of divorce.
If cohabitation is limited to a person's future spouse, there is no elevated risk of divorce.
In the U.S., cohabiting couples taking premarital education courses or counseling are not at a higher risk for divorce.
Cohabitation - Trends And Patterns, Reasons For Cohabitation, Meanings Of Cohabitation,

Consequences Of Cohabitation, Conclusion
Cohabitational relationships are distinct from marital ones in several crucial ways. Although these differences have become less pronounced with the increase in cohabitation (and could thus eventually vanish), the following characteristics define the essential boundaries between cohabitation and marriage.

Age. People in cohabitational relationships tend to be younger than people in marital relationships. This supports the argument that cohabitation is often an antecedent to marriage. The majority of cohabitational relationships dissolve because the couples involved get married;
Fertility. Children are less likely to be born into cohabitational relationships than they are into marital relationships;

Stability. Cohabitational relationships are short-lived compared to marital relationships. In Canada, only about 12 percent of cohabitations are expected to last ten years. By comparison, 90 percent of first marriages are expected to last this long (Wu 2000). The majority of cohabitational relationships terminate within three years. Although many of these relationships end because of marriage, the lack of longevity in cohabitations as such illustrates that these relationships have yet to develop into a normative variant of marriage;

Social acceptance. Even with its numerical growth and spread throughout society, cohabitation is not as socially acceptable as marriage. Cohabitation is socially tolerated in part because it is expected that cohabiting partners will eventually become married. Indeed, according to U.S. data, about three-quarters of never married cohabitors had definite plans for marriage or believed they would eventually marry their partner (Bumpass, Sweet, and Cherlin 1991). The youthful profile of cohabitation shows that marriage is still the preferred choice of union for most couples. If cohabitation were a variant of marriage, it would have a larger prevalence in older cohorts. Although many people have chosen to delay marriage, most have not rejected it completely. A major reason cohabitations have lower fertility than marriage is because couples tend to abandon cohabitation when children are in the immediate future (Manning and Smock 1995). In most countries, marriage is perceived as the most secure and legitimate union when children are involved;

State recognition. Unlike marriage, cohabitation is not sanctioned by the state, and persons in nonmarital unions do not necessarily acquire specific legal rights and obligations through their union. Without a formal ceremony and legal documentation, a couple is not married even if they have lived together for many years. However, after a set period of time (usually one or two years), cohabiting couples are recognized as common-law partners in some countries. In such instances, common-law partners can have similar rights and obligations as they would in a legal marriage. Common-law marriage can parallel legal marriage in terms of child support and custody, spousal maintenance, income tax, unemployment insurance, medical and dental benefits, and pensions. The degree to which cohabitors are treated like legally married couples usually corresponds to the degree nonmarital unions are socially accepted. But even where cohabitors do have rights, these are often unknown to cohabitors and more complicated to exercise than they are for married persons. In many cases, the rights that cohabiting couples possess have been established by court decisions rather than by state law, as they are for married couples. Perhaps the most crucial legal distinction between these unions is the absence of shared property rights in common-law relationships. Married couples acquire shared property rights upon establishing their union, but cohabiting couples must do so through the courts. In sum, no uniform and guaranteed set of rights applies to cohabitation. This deficiency shows that in most countries, cohabitation is not yet perceived as a legitimate variant to marriage from the perspective of the state.
Read more: Cohabitation - Trends And Patterns, Reasons For Cohabitation, Meanings Of Cohabitation, Consequences Of Cohabitation, Conclusion
Can the Catholic Church Deny Marriage to a Couple Who is Living Together?
Answer from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops:
"Denial of marriage -- Since cohabitation is not in itself a canonical impediment to marriage, the couple may not be refused marriage solely on the basis of cohabitation. Marriage preparation may continue even if the couple refuses to separate. Pastoral ministers can be assured that to assist couples in regularizing their situation is not to approve of cohabitation."Source: Marriage Preparation and Cohabiting Couples: An Information Report on New Realities and Pastoral Practices